Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Can't Choose Your Parents

Over the weekend I was introduced to the TexasMonthly Magazine. I loved it! It is about all things Texas, so I am trying to read up!  Although, Georgia is still on my mind J

Thursday, November 1st Cover

One article that I read has absolutely resonated with me. The Innocent Man Part I is about a Texas man wrongly incarcerated for the murder of his wife. He spent 25 years behind bars and lost everything, because he grieved differently than expected and became a target for the local police.

This article got me thinking about my own parents. The choices they made, some good, some bad. My mother made countless sacrifices to raise my brother and I on her own. Never, remarking about my father's poor choices. I know it is a stretch to think about a man who suffered losing his family and his freedom, but somehow, it fits. 

I was without my dad for close to 16 years of my life.  I don’t have many happy childhood memories of him.  We have a great relationship now.  Did he love me when I was growing up?  Honestly, I can’t answer that, I don’t know.  He had other things in his life that were more important back then.  Does he love me now?  Absolutely, without a doubt.  Would I trade that absence from him?  Sure, I would want to erase the pain and hardship my mom endured, but the choices that my dad made almost 20 year ago helped make me who I am today.  God had a plan.  I don’t understand why.  Will I ever be able to write about my childhood completely?  I don’t know.  I can tell you this, my parents’ choices affect me daily.  I am so thankful for my mom.  I don’t have the words to express how much she means to me.  I am also thankful that my kids will know my dad as their Papa. 

Those of you that are already parents, remember that all of your choices affect your kids.  All of them.  Unfortunately, they are the ones that end up with a pretty raw deal when things head south.  Just always be open and honest with them and love them more than your own selfish desires.  I am definitely not mom of the year, far from it.  I am sure there will be lots of times that my kids will hate my decisions.  I just pray that I can be like my mom and do the very best that I can for them.  That is all that I can do. 

Isn’t it funny how an article, a song, or even a simple statement can pierce your heart?  Who would have thought?!  Check out the TexasMonthly magazine, you won’t be disappointed.  Part II of The Innocent comes out next month.  I am going to be a regular subscriber.      


  1. Wow. You are a remarkable young woman Layne. I've known that for many years, but you continue to amaze me. Your compassion for forgiveness and your positive attitude on life, no matter what hand you were dealt, is nothing short of inspiring. And I totally agree with you about your precious Mom. She's incredible.....and you are following in her footsteps as an amazing Mom yourself! So proud of you sweet girl! Thanks for sharing! Love you!

  2. Mac- your comment is so precious to me! I have always looked up to you and count you as one of the strong women that impacted my life. Thank you for your love and support. KAZ came in a time of my life when I was searching and needed acceptance. I have such wonderful memories... I treasure that experience. I love you so much!!!